Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Body parts in the "Buckets List"

Thursday, 25 December 2008

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Time for catchup!

Whoa, what a week I have had. It has been so busy at work, that I really haven't had time to post or blog. A bit amiss I know, but what can I say........................ where does the time go??

Okay so where did I leave off and what do I have to tell.

I had a spike last weekend then nice drop each day until thursday. I had a german pretzel along with rye sandwich for lunch, which produce a massive spike. So bread is my poison it appears and results in very high spikes. So now to find alternatives that will give me better results. I do love wraps from stores but when I make them, they don't taste the same. All the ingredients are the same just doesn't taste the same. Weird hey.

Anyway food had been good until the Thursday, when I had too much bread for my body's liking. Training also suffered this week due to massive amount of work, hav been starting around 5.30am in the morning and leaving around 6pm. So gymtime was compromised. No matter, about to have almost 2 weeks off work so I will catchup on all my gym time.

Life is just moving along at the moment no special information that stands out to share. All good with everything, just madly busy and trying to get on top of it all at work.

I will try and catch up again this weekend.


Friday, 12 December 2008

Inspiration for the weekend.


This was me this morning, rackpull deadlifting, and yep I took it one step higher.............Coach, I did 100. last set of 5 reps after 4 working sets at 90. then I am slowly mastering the front squat. 45 deg leg press wide and high, then leg extensions. My legs were a little like jelly by the time I got to the xtrainer, but hung in there. So exercise done and dusted for the day!

I had the best night sleep last night, went to be at 8.30pm and didn't wake until 4.20am - time to go to the awesome is that. I admit I took Arginine tablets last night.

The recession is playing heavy on a lot of minds, talking to people I know who run their own business, and they are seriously struggling. My work has only suffered slightly, not a lot atm, but next year we will feel it when nobody buys land to build, or develops etc etc etc. Reading the international news this morning, Woolworths in England has gone belly up and 10 thousand employees are out of a that is seriously bad stuff.

Metal monster was again kind this morning, so a all new low has been set once again this week. Bring it on!

I hope you all have a good weekend and don't do anything naughty!


Thursday, 11 December 2008


Now I am not a person who dreams at night, never really did! But last night I had the worst night's sleep! I was talking to a friend briefly on the phone, she was telling she was retrenched on Friday, and that just scared the crap out of me! That it happened to someone that I know. So I obviously went to bed with a lot on my mind......................and started to dream. (nightmare!!) My dream was truly weird and yes i was retrenched in my dream. But the twist was, I was following my husband in a car he was fixing and it was doing weird things like going all over the road. I thought he was speeding so I phoned him and told him off. He then came to an intersection and crashed it into another persons car, who happened to be an elderly gentleman. I stopped on the side of the road, but sat in my car, thinking that it would be sorted soon, but when I looked up, I was watching my husband proceed to beat up this old man (now my husband is not a violent man in anyway, so I don't know what left field that came from). To cut a long story short, we were takend to court (and rightly so, if it had of been me, i would have done the same), but I had left David before the court case, but we lost everything? i then woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't sleep afterwards. Now this is pretty off the planet for me, as I said I never never dream, when I sleep, I really sleep. Obviously the economy is playing heavy on my mind both work and home wise. Anyway moving on............................

Yesterday was a good day, trained legs hard. Food was very tight and fluids kept up. Metal monster was every so kind with a dram of a drop, so pat on the back for that! Did spinning this morning with the lovely Nikki, who might I add looks great with her new additions - yep she has a new set of twins! Left the spin class, just as red faced as i was on saturday morning, like the photo below!

Got legs again tomorro morning, saturday is a rest day and then upper body on sunday with a bit of cardio. Was going to shout myself a new gym outfit from Gym Funky, but decided to pull my head in abit, and maybe reward myself for my birthday with an outfit (maybe even a size smaller.......fingers crossed).

Well hope you all have a great day


Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Motivation for today!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall! (Dr J's head-cleaners)

Struggle with self-esteem issues? Feel loathing when you look in a mirror? Does this not waste an enormous amount of time and energy?

Self Esteem is the esteem one feels toward one's self. It is a fundamental attitude that one has toward one's self. It's a tough world, it's a tough life and it's tough to know how to handle things sometimes.. It's also a world of choices, feelings, thoughts and free will. Everybody gets to decide for him or herself how much esteem they are due! It's a big problem when one's self-esteem is poor, when we don't like ourselves, we don't make good choices.

Life can mess with you sometimes to the extent that you can simply have a problem of excesive harshness in how you see yourself and how you decide to react to your weaknesses. This is something like the "body distortion" that individuals with anorexia or obesity experience. People with very poor self-esteems sometimes simply have to understand that, when it comes to self, they don't have good judgement about what is appropriate in terms of expectations and goals, cause for rewards, cause for punishments, and what would be appropriate levels of displayed anger and rage. The proof of this and the fix of this is in asking a simple question to measure one's judgements: Do you treat yourself in the same way you would a colleague? Do you encourage yourself like you would a colleague? Do you coach yourself after failures and successes the way you would a colleague? If the answer is no to any of these, then the next question should be WHY? Identifying the presence of such a mental 'soft-spot' is not the same as avoiding it. It's very hard to adjust one's attitude toward self. Catching yourself and correcting yourself should apply with one rule........"Do unto self what you would do unto others!"

Another common glitch in life is that we tend to see what we expect to see and disregard the rest. It may be that many people underestimate their numbers of successes versus their numbers of mistakes. It seems that our brains are structured to pay more attention to things that go wrong than things that go right. But for individuals with very poor self-esteem this can mean routinely discounting succeses as no big deal or nothing to get cocky about while carefully remembering every mistake and emotionally abusing one's self for each and every one, and generally feeling like a major idiot loser all the time.

so "Mirror Mirror on the wall, how can I make friends with Y'all" You work for yourself, you are your own boss. When there is hard feelings at work between colleagues, there is always recourse to make peace. A face to face is helpful, reassuring each other that both are really working on this. In self esteem, this translates to work in the mirror - eyeball to eyeball - mono to mono with yourself. Start with being civil and apologising to the person you are looking at for being such a crappy person to work with and pledge to try to do much better. Ask yourself this quesiton: how many mistakes do I make versus how many failures. Conside the last week as an example. Whatever numbers you come up with, ask yourself if you credited yourself for every step, every correction in planning, every forkful of food, every time you moved. If your reaction to this last question is to suggest that these are silly things to count, then ask yourself if you would have counted any of these things if you had made an error. Probably you would have. It would have been on your "I'm so stupid" list if yu had tripped and broke your wrist, if you had driven off the road or driven over a pedestrian, if you had stuck a forkful of food into your eye, if you had lost your paycheque on the way to the bank, or if you poisoned yourself or gave yourself food poisoning. Right? Proud is allowed.

What to do: Work on being smarter on rewards, punishments and ignoring. When something goes a little well, it should be rewarded, reward any step towards a goal and you're more likely to get to that goal. Ignore partial successes and reduce the possible of full success. Avoid severe self-directed anger, derisive statemetns ("you stupid fat @#$%)! and self sabotage as a "behaviour mod" strategy unless you are trying to drive yourself to self-mutlitation or suicide. When you make a mistake, kick yourself in the butt once and then pat yourself on the back for noticing that you had made a mistack. Work on being able to tolerate the yuckiness of guilt feelings without saying negative things to yourself, the yuck feelings are pretty much all the kick in the butt anyone ever needs.

So what brought this about you all ask. Well after the fantastic weekend, I got a bit down on myself after seeing the photos that were hanging around - thinking "wow you are massive Doris compared to others" "Look at how disgusting you are"..........and consequently sort of self-sabotaged myself on sunday. Then went into a bout of depression, to bed early and woke up feeling very self pitiful and self loathing on Monday morning. Had a little cry, had a little talk with "coach", but still feeling a little shitty, because on top of waking up feeling that way, my metal monster showed a massive spike. I wasn't worried about the spike because knowing the way my body goes, there will follow a massive drop (which I might add did happen and I am back to my new low). But being in the headspace that I was in, it didn't get received too well. Now I was given some positive feedback but on Monday it didn't sink in too well. so I have been doing some reading, looking back at some books I have and started reading a book given to me by the beautiful Elsbe, who is a true christian women. this lady does anything and everything her power to help others less fortunate than herself, both here in Brisbane and also worldwide. Now after reading the above article and some of Elsbe's book, I started to acknowledge some of the feedback given to me, and have started eyeballing myself in the mirror. My next hurdle is to accept my photos and deal with them in a positive way rather than seeing the negative of it all. A hard and long process. A friend once said to me, that maybe my self-negativity stems back to my childhood and the favouritism shown to my sister at all times. I would like to take that as an excuse but I can not, because that means I am looking for the excuse the feel the way that I do. So moving on, patting myself on the back for accepting one of my problems today, posting about it, I will move on and try and be so much more positive about my journey.

I thank you for listening and looking forward to talking to you all gain.


Monday, 8 December 2008

What ! No AIR CON!

I bet everyone is sick of seeing this photo! it certainly has done the rounds! Man, want a good workout with heaps of sweat, do a spin class for 60mins with no airconditioner, sit in the corner, where the fan doesn't get you and work at it till you are so dizzy, you almost fall off your bike. Did anyone notice David in the second row, he had a swimming pool at his feet! LOL
OMGosh - talk about a hot hot spin class! Awesome ladies! It was so fantastic to catch up with Steph, Nicole, Shelley and Lisa, great to finally catch up with Carolyn once again (May 2008 was the last time) and to meet the awesome Fernster and last but not least it was good to see Liz (who did train till she almost puked) That track 7 (which became track 9 in the 60min class) is just a killer! I think this would be the first spin class where my aversion to fans was swayed!
so i don't know about you guys, by late afternoon, it was taking its toll on me, was looking pretty cruisy laying on the couch watching a dvd! IN FRONT OF THE FAN.

So what is it with photos and headspace and my stupid emotions!!! ARghhh!

Friday night, went to my works xmas party, remind me next year to wear flat shoes at the pub, my feet were just killing me by the end of the night, i ended up wearing my sons shoes walking to the carpark in the rain, while he was in socks. LOL, he was so drunk, he didn't even realise he was walking in socks...........told him I wasn't washing them, just throw them straight out. It was funny seeing my son so drunk with his mate Jeremy. I was being a good girl and only had 2 drinks for the entire night. You know it gets a bit old hat when you always go to functions, or bbqs, or parties, and you don't drink and everyone around you gets so drunk. they yell at you, they lean all over you, they proceed to tell you how you should be doing it!

So heres to another healthy and planned week on the journey to the BEHAG!


Friday, 5 December 2008

Only to go back for more!!

Oh, I am so so so so so so so sore! Did a huge leg workout yesterday with the "coach". My hands and fingers are so sore from gripping the bar without straps for rackpull deadlifts (heavy) and so many sets! My chest is sore from doing front squats - something that I am going to have to get used to - not liking them but definately see the difference in doing them. My chest is sore because of the bar that goes accross it. My back is sore already from this morning! Well not sore but very very tight. Please, god of muscle, please don't let me be sore tomorro for when I do the psycho spin class from hell!!!!

All good on the exercise front - weights are just coming along nicely - am seeing some very good increases in strength and endurance. Best pb - can do chest flyes, full range (very deep and full extension), with 15kg dumbbells very comfortably for a full set. Wahoo! 17.5kg look out, here I come. Cardio has been short but very very intense.

Food has been very tight except for last night, had a minor mishap and boy my stomach is paying for it today. Also had a spike on the metal monster, could be from some serious doms or even the mishap last night - no matter, knowing my weekly pattern, it is due for a spike anyway. Would so kill for a massage, a nice long all over massage. Got to get there one day!

Head space a little screwed today, but that is another matter, something I need to improve on - build my little wall a little higher so that I don't get disappointed again. Make myself just that little harder, not to get upset over stupid things.

All in all, It is going to be a nice weekend. Hope you all have a good one. Talk to you soon.


Thursday, 4 December 2008

For the "coach"

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Hump Day Inspiration!

U Beaut ozi Ute!

Okay, again I have taken a few days to blog again. i always open up the page at work to start one,but something comes up, I close and then never think about it.

So lets start with an update of what has happening over last few days. I reached another low on the metal monster, to spike again but this is now such a routine with my "Intelligent Body" that I know what to expect on certain days! It is consistant to say the least! but we are having movement! Wahoo!

training wise, I am getting increasing in strength as well. I have made some awesome increases in weights - which I just love. Have a training session with 'Coach' tomorrow, which I am promised to be totally smashed! Need some serious rest tonight.

I also have decided that I now like my ute! Have always loved sports cars and one day will get back into them, but since I sold my little MX5 (so cute), I now am a proud owner of a VY-SPack Commodore (another thing that I really didn't like, but they are not so bad after all, just a preference thing). This is the youngest car i have ever owned so all the new gadgety things are great, like auto lights, the radio stays on when you turn car off and remove keys, doors lock when you put it into gear etc etc etc. I know I know, small things amuse small minds! hehehehe! But undertaking the philosophy, it is a car, that gets me from A to B, it is an automatic, makes it easier for traffic while driving to and from work in peak hour and it is a ute, can carry more shit! LOL think the husband is regretting getting me the ute, as I come home with more stuff! Here is a picture of the U Beaut, ozi Ute!

Ahhh! xmas is nearly here and I am dreading it. The best thing is, we have agreed not to go anywhere this year, home time and relax time and the best for me GYM TIME! Wahoo! I get to play during the day! Now that brings a smile to my face. A friend asked what was on my wish list for xmas presents, and you know what, I actually only have one wish - BEHAG! i want results, that will be the best present I could ever have! But alas only I can give myself that present and my intelligent body! So its all up to me! As for the boys, well I am over giving them hints, so this year I am saying nuting! If they can not think for themselves, then thats too bad for me! Its not the gift you get, but the thought process behind it that makes a gift special!

Well I best be getting back to work, a few more hours to go.


Friday, 28 November 2008

From sausages to rings falling off fingers!

Okay, so how was your week?
Mine started mediocre as you already know, but it got better as the week came on. I had drops everyday since the swelling and today, my rings are sliding around my fingers. Woot woot!
I was expecting some very severe DOMS from Monday, a repercussion from the punishment I inflicted on myself, but no - no real pain, except this morning, when I did romanian deadlifts, my glutes reminded me that I was not a nice person on monday. But my upper body, now there are some serious hurting going on there, and I only trained it yesterday morning! I am thinking that I didn't give myself enough recovery time from upper body on Tuesday morning. I had a brainfart and forgot it was cardio morning yesterday, walked into the gym and started doing my usual upper body stuff! Go figure - no matter will just have to do the cardio either tomorrow or Sunday.

Also I was expecting TTOM, as it is exactly 4 weeks since the last cycle. But nothing yet..........could be still early days yet. Hopefully it is still coming into a natural cycle.

Now thanks to LJ and The Fernster, I have discovered that I like Ed Hardy clothing range, but it is pricey! So I am setting myself up a reward for my birthday, if I can reach a mini goal I have set for myself, i will buy me something, and seeing that there is now a shop in Brisbane and on the Gold Coast, it will be much easier than buying online. I just love the Black Razor Back Singlet - Black Geisha or a hot pink tank - Davy Jones Locker (currently looking for picture atm) Thanks Lia for the tidbit! One other reward I am giving myself is a "Camilla Dress" wow there are some very dreamy collections there. All silk! But just stunning!

BEHAG is finally on track and heres to hoping that it absolutely stays on track.

Monday, 24 November 2008

And here we go again!

Argh! woke up this morning and my hands and feet were swollen, feeling really tight and uncomfortable! hmmm. I know i didn't have anything to eat yesterday that would have jeopardised my journey (except the crunchie bar travelling home in car - forgo the afternoon tea for that and had to calm my nerves from my parents),BUT I did not have any fluids for most of the day, only about 1 litre all up, shame shame on me. It could be a build up to TTOM, as it has been 24 days since last one ..................or it could even be Ross River Fever playing up again after all these years................nah, doesn't feel like it, so cross that off the list. Now that is something not to enjoy, the aches and pains in your joints just about sends you nuts. Scale weight up as well.

I know you all are thinking why is she jumping on the scales every day............. it is not to see if I have lost anything but more to guage how my body reacts to different exercises and eating patterns. i do have these massive ups and downs in one day and it totally has to do with my recovery and circulatory system. This morning only proved it big time. i know that jumping on every day can play havoc with the headspace, but as I am doing this as experiments and gauging reactions.

As I woke up, feeling all puffy and swollen, i thought about giving gym a miss, but the inner beast inside, you know the one who is on this BEHAG journey, said "get the F*&$ up". So off I toddle to the gym, I thought it was upper body day, but upon checking it actually was lower leg day, so first day i actually groaned at the thought of doing leg weights. Anyways, I through myself into it, set up the bench this time instead of steps for my box squats, put on the obligatory 10kg each side of the olympic bar for the warm up session. Jammed out 10 reps, re-racked and then started stacking and moving. I got to the end of the 3rd set, now having 30kg each side, I thought stuff it, i was in no mood, so to punish myself, I threw on another 10kg each side, and managed 6 reps with good form. Legs shaking like a leaf! Whoa! and now I want me to do step ups with dumbbells! No bloody likley! so I opted out of the step ups, went to the cable machine and did weight lunge pulls. Still went heavy on those, had myself strapped into 50kg on the cable and did 3 sets of lunges on each leg for 8 reps. So now that is out of my systems, went back to my normal routine, Romanian Deadlifts, then Leg curls. now my legs really hurt. I thought ha! that will teach you for thinking of staying in bed in the first place. Then cooled down for 20mins on tready at 5% incline. now sitting at work, legs feeling a little warm and also dreading what tomorrow will bring!

So what is on the cards for the rest of the day.....................water, lots and lots of water.


Sunday, 23 November 2008

Awesome Back!

Many of you have already seen this picture on Fern's blog, but I just had to show it again. Now thats what I am talking about! Miss Tank, this is why you rock! To have a back like this is ultimate reward for hard work! How awesome is this back.

A long overdue post!

Well bloggers, I have been amiss in blogging of late. No real excuse, just busy with life, exercise and reading.................yep, that is what I have been doing almost every night after work and my daily grind at home, I unwind with a couple of good books that I now have read twice because they were so good. So now I have computer time to dedicate to!

So what has happened in the last week. Well "Dr Frankenstein" coach has me doing a few things to monitor my reactions to certain things. Scale weight has a definate pattern to it now and I do have a wave pattern that seems to happen. i did have a good drop during the week, actually I was quite chuffed with the results and then doms and circulatory recovery issues came into play and the scale weight spiked yet again, but not so high this time. Bread is definately an issue with me so I will have to avoid as much as possible, looking for better alternatives at all times.

Training has just been absolutely awesome. I am still loving those box squats and I did better than the last heavy set, with doing a set with 35kg each side of the olympic bar and managed 8 strong full sets. Do you know the hardest part is the rising, once you place yourself onto the step, getting back up is such a killer on the quads, glutes and abs! Best workout is for the abdominals. Then to jump straight into dumbbell step ups, my legs truly are shaking by the time I finish. I have been getting stronger in my chest again, and the old injury is starting to fade away to almost nothing. Some days I do get a small twinge but its all good.

I did Coach's RPM class on Saturday and I must say that I loved it. So good to get a different sort of spinning class from someone different. I must say that all the spin instructors I have followed, everyone is different from the other, and each one is as hard as it comes. Track 7 is an absolute killer Liz, and it totally left me red faced as per the evidence on the photo. LMAO!

Personal life on hold atm, until I get time off work to have a good think and look at what I really need to change in my life to make my life a little happier or maybe smoother. I am very happy in myself, but you can always use improvement right?? Slowly but surely some changes are being made.

Also talking about changes, small changes are happening on the BEHAG journey, just not as fast as I would like it, but you know what, that doesn't matter as the current journey is enjoyable atm. I mean, size is dropping slightly, I am getting stronger, body is starting to act normal again...................!

Until next post, which I promise to keep a little more regular, have a great week! I know I will.

Eat well and train hard!

Thursday, 13 November 2008

Killer Back!

Monday, 10 November 2008


Saturday, 8 November 2008

For Lia

I Do Believe by Jennifer Janiszewski

There is nothing i can do, to make her come back
There are no words I can say, that can replace the words you long to hear

There are no answer's I can give, that will satisfy your questions
There is not another soul I can introduce you to that will ever replace her
And, there is no love I can offer that will ever replace the love you shared

I can not promise your broken heart will ever be complete
I will not say it could have been worse
I will not deny it was a tragedy
I will not lie and tell you she will come back

She never really left
I do promise she hears you when you speak
I will say she loves you no matter the distance
I will not deny she is in a better place
And, I will not lie; she is waiting to greet you someday

She is every step you take
She is in everything you do
She is the air you breathe
She is every beat of your heart

" She is like the wind. You can not see her...but you will always feel her"

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Fall: A usually swift downward trend

a nice drop on the scale and so all is appeased!

Had a nice hot bath after work yesterday with epsom salts, to eliviate the Doms a bit and it seemed to work a treat. My legs are not anywhere near as sore from yesterdays leg session compared to sunday's leg session and i did more! Wahoo! must be a good thing! Did spinning this morning, was a little tight but a-okay.

Emotions must be heading in a good place atm, as there is a lady here at work who has just lost shit loads of weight (16kg in 10wks) and I am not distressed about it, in light that it takes me forever just to drop a little. BUT, she is almost starving herself in doing it (600-700 cals per day). I know I am better for what I am doing and I have faith and trust in the "coach" all the way! I want to keep that hard earned muscle that I have built up over the years weight lifting, you know the ones that I love!!!!! Even my personal issues at home are not affecting me atm, so all head space in good place and I intend to keep them there!

i am really enjoying my daily rountine, with exception to work, really would be good to win lotto, then I could be doing something that I really love to do instead of something that is just easy to do! I get up 4.30am every morning, have my supps, eat 1/2 of my breakfast (oats & cranberries), go to gym most days - except my day off - do either weights or cardio, drive to work, shower and change, sit at my desk all day long, then head home. Put a load of washing on, clean the kitchen, cook tea, eat tea, wash dishes, plan out and prepare next days food, get clothes ready, take my supps, go to bed, read for about 1/2 hour, (about 9.00is) fall into very deep sleep. So the day begins again. Whats not to love about that????? now lets break it down. i can not sleep in the mornings in summer, when it is light, it is time to get up right??? doesn't that happen for everyone??? Supps - well the taste is crap but I know they are helping me with an even keel on my systems. Everyone has to have breakfast, and I do love my oats with cranberries cooked with water, yummo! Ahhh, the gym, my favourite place atm. I just love the morning crowd, know most of them and the trainers there at that time. Quite often get lots of pushes from the trainers on the floor - like come on, what are you stopping for - all the while you are breathing so heavy because you just managed a really heavy set without a spot and it takes a good 60 seconds to recover to get ready for the next set, sweat dripping off the end of your nose and they say "comeon!"" Then the drive to work in the morning traffic (Oh Yeah!!!!!!) eating the other half of breakfast - usually a vege and egg bake thingy. Get to work, shower and coffee - all depends could be in opposite order - coffee then shower................nah too smelly - shower then coffee. All day at work - (another not so excited Oh Yeah! here) but food is good throughout. amazing how easy it is to keep to plan for food at work, of course you have nothing else available unless you go out, and I am in a very heavy commerical industrial area, so there are not a lot of shops around. Wahoo home time is finally here, get in your car and prepare for the 45min drive home. Get home, get on with some daily chores and prepare dinner - gee don't you wish that sometimes the men at home would just have thought about doing it one night - just one night would so make it nice........................but no, I don't have that luck! My son used to do once a upon a time, but as he progressively becomes more like his father, the nice sensitive new age person is withering away inside him. Then the preparation for the next day is a quick chore, off to bed - read a good book. I am so into the Stephanie Meyer series atm, I wish there was more to the sequel. I am not a romantic sort of person but there is something in her writing that just makes it so easy to read and go back for more.

Whoops! i have rambled on a bit...............sori to bore with the day in the life of Doris! Will promise to write about something else next time, maybe something more educational.

Well bloogers, enjoy your day as i am enjoying mine.


Wednesday, 5 November 2008

don't you just love muscle!

My dream is to have shoulders like her!


To quote Shelley - You dumb m*&^$rf*&^%rs! What the!

DOMS and TTOMS are not a good combo! Yesterday I had a slight increase in scale weight, then this morning it was through the roof! I hate you I hate you I hate you! There I vented! Doesn't it just screw with your head!!! Oh well, not to cry over it.

Did another massive leg workout this morning, actually got more heavy reps out than sunday! I was on fire! I did 5 sets on the box squats with olympic bar, last set 30kg each side and managed 10 reps, all good form. The last 2 reps were on pretty shaky legs! Wahoo! me thinks there will be some serious DOMS again real soon. Also did a really heavy deadlift set too. You know, I used to hate doing legs and always always put them off until the last day of the week. now I am really enjoying doing them atm, looking forward to doing them 2 times a week. Might have to book myself in for a massage on weekend on legs, hamstrings are a little tight, to say the least! Got a nice soak in epsom salts planned for Friday night.

On the food front, have been keeping to plan, had a little dirty diana for lunch yesterday at work, even had a beer - and I am not really a beer drinker. The boys went out and got me some Pure Blonde, they reckoned i would like it and it was low carb as well. Well they were right, it was quite nice.

On the emotion side of things, all good as far as emotions go, but having a little issue with my married life. It seems that i am not liking what I see at home, but that is something for me to digest and sort out. I feel like I am growing out of my marriage, and that I am only staying because i am complacent, not wanting to change. Oh well there are worse things that can happen.

Okay, time to get started with work, hope you all have a great day!


Monday, 3 November 2008

Explanation better late than never!

Hey Hey bloggers, I meant to get back to the picture on Friday but it never happened.

Well there is a lot of catch up on from the last post! hmmmmm I need to remind myself............

Okay I think I left off suffering from loss of doing my favourite activities at the gym (instructions from coach). Well I listened to everything and am amazed at some of the reactions from my body. Last week I had an up and down week in the drop of scale weight, up one day due to a meal of roast chook then a really nice drop, maintaining it through out. Doing this little experiement I now am getting a sense of what will spike your weight. Interesting. So starting with the weekend before, it was a really good one, following plan to the t, doing weights on a Sunday for a change. Then last Tuesday did absolutely nothing...........physco Tuesday to nothing there is a first!!!! hehehehe.

I have been doing these box squats of late and I am hooked on them atm. Yesterday i went to the gym and of course it was lower body day. I got into my box squats and managed 8 reps on the olympic bar with 30kg each side! And i think I could have gotten heavier, but I didn't want to spend all day doing the same thing over. As it is I pushed 5 sets out to get that. Consequently my quads are in a little pain atm. I just love the way when you go down and sit on the box, your core slightly releases it self, then you have to switch everything on to stand back on again. The pull through you quads, glutes and abdominals is sensational.

It is a rest day today, so no gym, no cardio, nada, nothing, zip, zilch.

Eating I have relaxed a bit, gotten into the groove of dirty dianna's and clean eating, learning to release yourself to the flow of everything in moderation. I plan my day out, but it may change slightly, but stays well within the plan. Saturday night we went to friends place and it was an 'Indian' night, they made curries galore and we all had to bring something to compliment. So I made an entree of mini tandori kebabs (chicken and lamb) a garlic yogurt dressing and a indian style salad with lettuce and yoghurt dressing, chopped cucumber, tomato, parsley and mint on top. Yummo! Very refreshing. I drank 2 glasses of wine and even had some desert. And all still within the planned day. Don't you feel fantastic knowing you didn't blow out especially when you really have no control over the food made. I walked away feeling pretty satisfied.

Now back to the picture on Friday, it is exactly 21 days since my first period in 9 months and they have decided to visit again, but this time, there was no warning, no emotions, no nothing except very sore breasts!(I haven't had those since before I was pregnant and that was 20years ago), so the general feeling was fantastic, maybe everything is coming back into alignment and we will see some good changes happening. Bit of a bummer that TTOM came a week early but all good, only ever lasts 1-2 days and following to plan, that is how long it did last. If it is going to be this easy from here on in, bring it on I say.

But to say the least, I was expecting a hike in weight due to TTOM, as you do, holding fluid etc etc, but there was no hike, infact there has been some very minimal drops! So good things happening????? We are still out with the jury on that one for a while, lets just see what the next few weeks bring.

Work has been horrendiously busy, with changes within the Group structure and now they are bringing changes within each individual entities. The change that will happen with my company, is that they want to bring in a Financial Controller. I got a bit hurt, as i thought that it may have been a natural progression for me.............hmmmmm maybe time to move on, but I will wait and see. Because, there is not enough kitty in the budget to warrant both an accountant and a Financial Controller. Sooooo where does that leave me.................hmmmm somthing to think about. The business is becoming a little top heavy and that worries me a lot. The industry is a male dominated business and especially my company, the gender plays a big role here, you really have to have the right tool to get the right recognition. So you are saying why are you still here???? Well the pay is very good for the work that I do and the work is so easy!!!!!. And i know for a fact they will not get rid of me, because of the history with other people etc etc, something really not to get into! Oh well I just my usual thing and be complacent - seems to be the story of my life - complacency! I have to start to learn to fight!

so getting on the subject of feelings. I am feeling pretty good about the little changes that have happened, also feeling good about the emotion side of TTOM. If only this feeling would stay this way. But I am still not quite relaxed in the little amount of exercise I am doing, probably because i was doing so much for so still feels like I am not doing enuf! You know, it has been drummed into me over the years, you need to expend more energy you take in, and you really need to up the anti when you have an extremely sedintary job, like I do, so it only makes sense that you should do more cardio. BUT I don't want to lose that lovely muscle I know I have underneath this doona layering I have on top. Like I said, maybe after a couple of more weeks I might just relaxed that front as well, like I have with the food.

So lets get on with it and bring on the new week. I am excited to see what the results will show over the next coming weeks.


Friday, 31 October 2008


Thursday, 23 October 2008

Huge gap between posts!

Hey hey bloggers, remember me???

Well it has been a while since I have blogged. Just been busy reading the Stephanie Meyer series atm, don't seem to be able to put it down of late. Good books.

So whats new with me......................hmmmmm!

Of late, I have been in a good place both with food, emotions and exercise. I have actually backed off on my gym time under instructions and as a result have had some RESULTS! Wahoo! About F*&^%#X@ Time! I did try to cheat but my conscious would not let me do it.............. so heres how it starts.

Monday morning get up after having a good planned weekend with food, even had treats and a 'Dirty Diana' meal. Scales went up, but have been told to relax and just that is what I did. For the first time I actually relaxed about the scale reading. I missed going to the gym Monday, slept in and had to race to work. Tuesday woke up, jumped on scales and there was a good drop from the previous day, to lower than the starting point on Friday. Wahoo! What a nice feeling to see some positive changes. But knowing my pessimistic side, I doubted that this would continue. Now Tuesday is my psycho crazy day at the gym but i was instructed to back the hell away!!!!!! So I was only allowed to do a warm up cardio for 15mins and then a good heavy weights session. Then banished from gym for the rest of day, do not go back. Do you know how hard it is to do that, especially when you love doing certain classes and group pt sessions. Tuesday afternoons are my boxing and spinning class day, and I just love it. I was going to cheat and go and just say i didn't go, but driving there, yes I actually started to drive there, I thought of my commitment to my BEHAG and promptly decided to have faith, and turned off and went home! Phew that was hard but it felt good at the same time! I had the will! and I go more time to read my books.

Well Wednesday morning came and I got up and jumped on scales..............another nice drop. hmmm maybe there is something happening here and i should stick to a good thing. So again i did my 15 mins warm up cardio and a really good heavy sessions of legs and weights, then to work. Now normally on a wednesday night I walk on tready for about 30-45mins but again was advised not to do a thing...............a person could really get used to this! So I did just that and got to spend more time with my book.
Thursday morning came (today), jumped on scales and another drop! OMG! is this really happening! Now in saying this, I am thinking because I am getting some results and I am feeling a little chuffed about it, could I be jinxing myself! Tomorrow will be the proof. Fingers crossed. So today was a cardio morning and I did Nikki's crazy spin class this morning, I had forgotten how she loves to concentrate on those legs. But it felt very good, suffering slight DOMS from yesterdays weights, but all good. But now heres the cruncher.............I always do body balance on a Thursday night, great stretch, great sweat and just a relaxer, but again i have been warned off balance. As balance can be pretty intense if you are doing it right, and i assume I must be doing it alright, as i sweat profusely when I do it, that it was advised that this had to be missed as well. GASP GASP all I could do was hyperventilate! What you take away boxing and spinning and now balance.........................nnoooooooo! But in the back of my mind I am at complete ease because i do trust this decision, so i will not do balance tonite. So now everyone is thinking, why can it harm you with all this extra exercise I am giving up at the moment, well it is to help me recover as it has been diagnosed that i have an overtrained body and the vasodilation is not recovering well. We need to start from scratch so as to speak. Teach it to work effectively again. What does that mean?

It means that i need to concentrate on eating correctly, keep caloric intake to match my required energy levels, drink plenty of fluids (water) and let my body actually recover from exercise. and this is what it is all about - perfect balance. Argh! theres that word again - balance!!!! Oh this will be hard to bare til I get home. once at home, I will be okay with not going to balance tonight.

So in short, i am looking forward to tomorrow.


Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Travis - First - Australian Titles - Sydney - 18th October 2008

Tuesday, 21 October 2008


Saturday, 18 October 2008

a perfect day!

Today I planned and maintained a perfect day! How awesome does it feel that when you actually acheive everything you had planned for the day actually happens.

My food has been exactly as I planned. right down to the little treat I will have after dinner, a Macadamian and Vanilla Weis bar.

And I stuck to my word, I did not go and do the spinning marathon, I just went for a walk for 60 mins and then spent the day shopping for groceries, cooking, cleaning and watched a dvd. I am starting to feel rejunvenated for the fact that I just took today very easy.

Heres to another perfect day tomorrow. Have a good one!


Friday, 17 October 2008

Reflection of the week

Great with food and exercise - did a great heavy back session, then cardio.
Had an awesome physco day, started with 60mins cardio, the 60 mins heavy weights, chest and tris. Then went back in afternoon and did 60min boxing and a 45min spinning class. Luv it! Got my groove back
Heavy leg session - squats heavy and very very low, step ups with mediball (6kg) supaset with walking lunges. then lunges off bosu. my legs were shaking after that.
met up with "coach" and went through some rehab exercises for shoulders, scapula. Did some pointers on back pin loaded exercises and chest. Very informative morning. Never made it to gym for balance that night.
Different Leg workouts - 45 degree leg press - heavy, romanian deadlifts - heavy, hamstring bridging - these I have never done before, googled and got the idea how to do it. My hamstrings were screaming before I finished and it involved no weights at all. Wall squats squeezing mediball between knees. I was supposed to hold for 60secs but only manged 30secs before legs burning - need to work on these to get the extended hold. Did some abs as well with reverse curl on fitball under smith machine. Woot woot! my hamstrings are very very tight tonite.

Plan for this weekend is a couple of walks on saturday and sunday, groceries, reading, clean house, some gardening, and most important is to have a very good weekend of food! Baby steps.
I am going to go buy myself an omelette maker, the electric one, which should making my breakfasts a lot easier. I have been splitting my breakfasts up, having the carb content before I go to gym in morning, then I have the protein portion afterwards.

Well time to go, getting sleepy, getting very sleepy. I have had and absolutely great week, fantastic on the food front, fantastic on the exercise front and best of all, fantastic on the hormone front! Wahoo!

Goodluck Tara! Thinking 'bout ya Chickee!

Inspiration - Cindy Phillips

Monday, 13 October 2008

Happy Birthday Mrs Breach!

Congrads Trav!

Travis Reddington - First place - Classic Mens - IFBB! Wahoo!

And meet Mr Olympia 4th Place - Dennis Wolf - Man what a huge unit.

Had an absolute fantastic day yesterday, watching some of the big boys on stage! I even managed to yell the loudest for the day, hopefully not embarassing Travis too much. He came down after his stage time and said "hey dude, can hear you a mile away"! LOL told you I had lungs! and the fact there was no one else yelling made it easy to hear me. And Sab, STOP Licking the Screen!


Friday, 10 October 2008

And the visitor is.............

That just totally explains everything! I have a visit from Uncle TTOM for the first time since February! Forgotten what that was all about as well. Phew! I am not a crazy woman - just had a massive hormonal shock to the system! Yippee! Funny, to get excited about something like this! Its just I didn't want to be that crazy mixed up woman, who crys at a drop of a hat!


Thursday, 9 October 2008

Today's Chapter

Well today has been a good day, the mist is almost gone again. Wahoo! About bloody time. Got off to a good start today with an awesome shoulder workout and then did some rowing for 20mins later. Did alternate rowing styles ie 1 min high row, 1 min low row for the entire 20mins. Talk about burning muscles. I am already feeling them tonight. After work, went back to gym on to the tready for another 20mins and an hour of body balance. Feel nice and stretched. Also food was fantastic today, got in all those veges I needed to eat and tonight I ate 'dirty'. Love that! I had a roast lamb, tomato, onion and lettuce sandwich, instead of the protein and green veges that I normally have. It was great.

The best thing about today, is the is going away and I am laughing again. Woot woot. I am starting to feel confident again about my BEHAG and the never ending quest for the elusive body image. So now baby steps once again. so what have we acheived so far. Well, there has been the public anouncement of my BEHAG - 30th July 2008. I didn't measure myself then, so I can not compare changes (if any) since then. But I will do so once a month. Hopefully there are some small changes. I have changed my eating habits, increasing my vege intake and my supplementation. So I have made some small changes, waiting for the big changes.

I pulled some info that I posted on my previous blog, thought I would revisit.

seven steps to follow by Robert A Rausch (it was actually a management leadership article but it can and will be applied to everyday wants and needs - like my mojo!)

  • Always maintain your desire for what you do. Desire creates core energy. If you think you may have lost it, think back to a time when you felt strong desire for what you were doing. When you do remember, write your thoughts down and make it a habit to review what you've written several times a day. At the heart of all energy is DESIRE!

  • Believe in something bigger than you. Ben Franklin said, "A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle." Being sefl-absorbed wastes a lot of energy. Find something bigger to believe in than yourself, like your goal!

  • Find a reflector. A reflector is a colleague, buddy or a coach. It has to be someone not involved in your daily life whom you can talk with honestly and candidly. I also suggest not picking someone loaded with unsolicited advice, but someone who will listen, support and encourage.

  • Guard your mind. As best you can, surround yourself with people who are realistic, but who also have the attitude that you are going to make this work.

  • Don't neglect your emotions. Emotions are part of human nature. The harder you try to hide a feeling, the more that feeling will dominate your life. Fear, anger, frustration, love and sadness are natural emotions. Don't play the strong woman and try and ignore these feelings. Feel the emotions; express them appropriately, with the appropriate people at the appropriate time. Believe it or not, it's refueling to express emotions.

  • Normalise the struggle. I think sometimes we are under the false assumption that we're not supposed to struggle. Struggle is part of the game; without it there is little to no growth. It's when we meet the resistance that we get stronger. Energy is lost when there is too much complaining about the present situation and too little appreciation for the opportunity to grow.

  • Change the direction when necessary. Some difficult times cause us to re-evaluate where we are and where we need to go. Look for the inconspicuous messages. maybe you are being directed in a different way or to approach the situation in a different way. If you waste energy on worry and fear, you may miss the very thing that will create success.

  • Finally, don't take yourself too seriously. Given time, all things change. Theses are days that require strong desire and the courage to maintain it.

Time to quickly go and pre make my breakfast and lunch. I will do the rest tomorrow morning before I go to gym.

so guys talking to you all real soon



Wednesday, 8 October 2008

And so it keeps going..........

So as the days goes on, the less the mist hangs around. I now have compared my blogs over the last few months and a pattern has appeared. Apparently I seem to suffer some sort of 'blue feeling' every 4 weeks, soooooooo what I think I am saying is that this is like a 'period'. I am having an emotional letdown rather than the physical period letdown. Since I have not had a period since February, I am thinking it has been replaced with this sucky emotion crap once a month. So I will keep on checking my symptoms just to get a total idea of pattern. But you know what, it is great to write about it. You get comments and encouragement that just help lift you out of it and this time around, there was absolute success in not straying from my eating plan.

A bit hungry today, I get full after all my eats but an hour later, I feel I need something more. Does this mean the metabolism is working or just feeling of wanting to be full??? Ah the question of what is right and what is wrong? You know what, the best thing of all would be some results. I guess what is making it very hard to swallow atm, is that there is a work colleague who has started to watch what she eats, but eats empty calories ie sprouts, tinned pineapple, tinned beetroot, 1/4 avocado, about 30gms smoked salmon is an average lunch - anyway getting off track there, she has lost 35cms and 6 kilos in 5 weeks. Makes it very hard indeed when I have been so vigilant for almost 8 weeks with very clean food, raw veges and a form of protein and I have no results. The worse of it all, she does not exercise at all???? Go figure, I do weights and cardio every weekday and cardio on weekends. Ahhh but it is no good comparing my journey with her journey. Life is meant to be different and difficult for me for a purpose. This destination of my journey has been set for a reason and hence I must keep strong on that path. Persistence, perserverance will prevail and payoff. Gotta keep telling myself that. It will happen.


My highlights of INBA QLD Titles

This one I love as the gentleman on the right is 78 years of age! He was a bit hard of hearing and had to be shown what he had to do next.
The second one is awesome and worrisome - this is a teenage man. whoa! thats a whole lot of lats!
The third one is Travis the coach with Traci - I think a very nice keepsake for Traci - talk about a coach being proud of his protege!

This one is our lovely Tara. Check the ABS! hubba hubba! So so inspirational Tara!

The first one is one of the divisions of the men. The stage was filled with 20 competitors in this division - what a flesh fest!! made me go all hot under the collar.
The second one is the smile on the guy on the right - this guy had the cutest smile of the day! Not to mention - nice chest, niiiiiccccceeeee LEGs! Shoulders and arms - oh lets face it - just plain Noice!

There was one other highlight, a male competitor's routine and gee I wish I had video'd it. His coregraphed routine was just outstanding - methinks he likes to dance a bit as well. If anyone remembers watching him, he was the one jigging around the stage while doing his posedowns. The routine was the one that started slow, then with a massive heartbeat action, he just pumped it up! Awesome!

Feed them SUGAR!

LOL, I just love this photo of Traci - the backstage, getting ready and pumped up and the important intake of quick carbohydrate - SUGAR!

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

and the mist slowly lifts...............

How does one stop from feeling blue???? What a crappy emotion it is. You are going great guns, you are eating all the right foods at the right time, you are doing cardio and weights, not just weights but heavy weights and then you do your fortnightly measure. SMACK! nothing has really changed. You dwell on this for a while, then the more you dwell the more the blue mist envelopes you........................................!
Went to the INBA Qld titles on Saturday to watch Tara and Traci, let alone meeting up with some familar faces. But as the day wears on, the mist becomes thicker and thicker, you become more and more withdrawn within yourself, not wanting to associate with anyone. LOL, do you know I sat in the same chair from 11.30am to 7.30pm - did not move even to go to the toilet. Drank heaps of water, just didn't want to move!!! To top the day off, I ripped my only purchase of clothing from Italy, a unrepairable rip! Shute! no matter, can try and make shorts out of them.
The sunday was more blue and miserable than ever (sucky hormones) but the bonus of the weekend. Usually when I am depressed, I usually eat something or drink something out of plan, and I DID NOT do that this weekend! I still had all my planned meals and infact would be a very good weekend food wise.
Why do you ask am I so blue - not being able to see results for all the hard work that has happened in the last couple of months. Although I am not as bloated as previously, I would have thought that I would have some good drops with the food and exercise I have been maintaining. But lets not whinge about it, it is not going to fix it. Perserverance, persistence, practice makes perfect and paysoff!
Today has been a better day than the last three, so hip hip hooray! The mist is thinning! This afternoon I did a bit of pampering and had my usual wax job done - legs, g string, arms, brow and lip. I just love having my body waxed, I just love the feeling of having the hair ripped out, my skin feels softer and younger. I just love the sensation you get straight after the rip and the tingling afterwards.
Going to another body building comp on Sunday = going to watch Travis compete. Another trainer at my gym and Traci's trainer. So heres to hoping that the blue mist will lift.
So off I now go and get my food ready for tomorro, clothes and gym gear. Another day of plan, another day closer to getting some results. Go get them tiger!


Sunday, 5 October 2008

Well Done Traci! You are getting there!

Beyond now.................

Why now? Why anytime? Why not! I want to feel normal, I want to be treated normal, I want! Why do I want…………… its been said. I have always struggled with my weight and no matter how hard I work at it, I never seem to get it right. Why is it so hard to lose body fat? Do I have to continually live the life I have, day in and day out, struggling to maintain, let alone lose weight. This mountain that I climb seems to get steeper and steeper each year. I am a 42 year old woman, who is a sendentary office worker, actively goes to the gym 5 days a week, loves lifting heavy weights, manages some type of cardio 5 to 6 days a week. For any other “normal” person, this would be enough to create that defecit required for consistent body fat loss. But you are listening to a person who can put on just under10 kilograms in under 3 weeks, while walking around Europe all day, albeit the diet was not ideal, it was not that bad either. Maybe more carbohydrates than I should have. The breads, majestic breakfasts, long days walking, not eating again till early afternoon and the gelati’s. Whew, pretty bad, but hey you only get one go at the first time in Italy.
So now that my feet have landed back in reality and the knowledge that I had put on some serious weight in a short amount of time, it was the wakeup call to get back on the wagon for the ever quest to get that body I wanted way back in 2004 when I witnessed my first ever body building competition. I had already discovered weight lifting in the coveted “boys area” at the gym serveral years ago. Then got invited to a competition where a fellow gym junki was competing in Physique. Although I didn’t like the way she looked (I felt she was too thin compared to others), it was the rest of the competition that totally roped me in, hook, line and sinker. I watched a competitor call Telia Raciti and totally fell in love with muscle and Physique competitons. To top the day off, I witnessed a quest appearance by the magnificent Jo Rogers. It wasn’t her extreme muscular look that mostly appealed to me, but the way she did her routine on stage and her talk afterwards. I was bitten. Since then I have dieted, pushed myself hard with cardio and weights and obviously yoyoed up and down in body size. Then comes the anxiety and disappointment for not getting good fast results and obviously that coveted body image that I crave.

Now talking about the body image I crave, also comes with the need to be satisfied. But do you know what the hardest thing to accept, is watching people who you know do less exercise than you and eat not as cleanly as you, get more results than you and faster too. Your determination starts to disappear and now going to the gym becomes a chore. Your time starts to peeter off, till you are just going along obligatory and following a half ass eating plan, on goes the body fat you managed to lose over six months of consistent effort. You start to feel sorry for yourself, sabotage yourself then kick yourself in the butt. So after a week of asskicking and reflection, you drag your sorry ass back to the gym, you get started back on the right track and continue down it once again to try and obtain that body image you crave. So now you ask yourself, all those years, surely somewhere you should have got it right. You go and obtain more knowledge by completing Certificate Three and Four, and you would think with all that knowledge, surely you can get the whole body image quest right at this point! A case of Try and Try again until you succeed.

Accepting your challenges is bad enough, as you cope with the daily grind of bearing the unwanted body image, but to note that people tend to look past you or not take you into conversation due to your size. Surely not, you say, people are not like that, but alas, bear witness to people often walking past you to talk to the person who has a much neater body image. Females are not quite as bad as males, but working in a construction industry, you tend to notice this more. An example of what you feel can be best explained following: You know you have some serious surface veins on your legs , and normally it does not worry you as you usually forget about them. But walking around with shorts on or a shorter skirt, you start to notice people looking at your legs and you become extremely self conscious of it all. You then start to cover yourself up. This is what it is like with the body image issues. You are comfortable with yourself all the while you are pursuing your happy body image, until you come into public and you discover people around you don’t have the same issues as you, then you start to feel inadequate. Enough to the inadequacies, time to put a stop to these feelings. Time to get out of this rut. But what is the rut you in, you exercise consistently, you train till you fatique, you ensure you expend more energy than you take it……… where are you going wrong. Emotions!

I can tell you that disappointment plays a big part in the weekly grind. You put in an extra effort that week, you exercise so hard, that you are literally tired and sore and the scales and measures show no to hardly any change at all. You tell yourself that persistence and perseverance will always pay off. So you keep at it the following week like a good little Trojan. You stick to an extra clean eating plan for 5 days of the week because it is easy at work. No distractions. But the weekend comes along and you have so many chores to run. You start the first morning off with a great powerwalk and breakfast, then out you go for your weekend routine of groceries, odd jobs and catch ups. Before you know it, its 4.00pm in the afternoon and the last time you ate was at 8.30am in the morning – what the? Where did the day go? You are now hungry, so you think about something to eat but dinner is soon, so you can’t have too much. You nibble a bit, maybe a piece of bread with peanut butter or crackers with something. Then after a long day of shopping, chores, cleaning and running around, you really don’t feel like cooking dinner. You live with 2 men (husband and son) who do not cook, so you make toasted sandwiches or homemade pizza. You couldn’t be bothered making something else for yourself so then you eat the pizza too. Now comes the guilty feeling that you didn’t put in the extra effort and vow not to do the same tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, you keep to family tradition and cook breakfast for everyone – usually a very good healthy breakfast, an omlette of sorts. So again the day starts out well and often you get to lunch eating what you had planned in the first place. Usually the morning is taken up chopping, dicing, cleaning and bagging vegetables, roasting and chopping meat and basically preparing food for the following week. Lunch then turns into something healthy at home for yourself and sandwiches for those who are at home. Mid afternoon always gets missed, usually doing way too many chores to think about it. Come Sunday night, you have either put on a roast for the boys or have something else prepared but you do not feel like eating yourself. You don’t. Later that night you get hungry, so you open fridge doors and cupboard doors…………………looking for that elusive tasty morsel that is good for you, has no fat and will help you achieve that body image you crave……Ha! In what dream?

Now you ask what are you doing?? What do you really want?? You want to be that Physique competitor that you admired and aspired way back then when you first was touched by the passion. You want not to be that failure that you think people think you are, you want to achieve that perfect body image for you. So now once again you have set yourself goals, announced those goals publicly and 3 months later, you really have not made such a dent in that doona layering that you have on that hard hot body of yours. You have set goals – Big Enormous Hairy Ass Goals that you want to compete next year. With the three months gone already, you realize you are not making the achievements you need to have done by now to actually make it next year. But this is okay, you still maintain that sometime, something has to happen, and when it does, it will be great. So you talk yourself about staying on track and each weekend you try to make it perfect. Try and try again till you succeed. You surround yourself with positive people who inspire you, acknowledge you and even admire you, all in the quest to boost your self confidence.

Now goals are set – Ulitmate Long Term Goal, to maintain a body image you will be happy and comfortable with. To live life comfortably and to be accepted by your peers as have a fit and healthy body, and not overlooked for the person with a neater body image. Intermediate Long Term Goal is to compete at least once in Physique. Medium Term Goal is to achieve one third body fat loss towards your end goal by Christmas. Short term goal is to have a very clean healthy full week of 7 days with one reward at the end of a good week.

I will compete in Physique and no one will deter me from my vision, not even myself.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

I always come back to this amazing inspirational physique!

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Contentment and Satisfaction!

I had the grilled fish and I found a snack bar who is mindful to your requests. Talk about doing the right thing. The boys went up to the snack bar and asked for grilled fish for me, but preferably fat free - the snack shop placed a piece of baking paper on their grill and grilled me fish - a nice piece of dory approximately 150gms with no oil.

Craving satisfied and long term goal satisfied! WOOT WOOT!


Necessary Awareness!

Be respectful and mindful of yourself.

There will be times when your immediate wants will be in direct conflict with you long term goals. One part of you will have a strong urge for something yummy (and obviously fattening) but you haven't given up your desire to succeed your long term goal. Immediate wants - to satisfy craving. Long Term goal - to compete physique. So I was reading an article this morning that suggessts you discuss the issue at hand - wants vs long term goals.

Right now I feel like something yummy for lunch, actually feeling very hungry atm. I have lunch packed but sort of don't feel like it - mind you it is a yummy lunch too! So what do I do?? The article suggesst don't follow your impulses for immediate gratification, nor don't tough it out and ignore the craving. Often by ignoring cravings you will eventually pig out and eat more that you would have by satisfying the craving in the first place.

Possible solution - go and use your awareness and knowledge of the fat and calorie content of foods, and find something that will both satisfy yourself that is lower in fat and calories and won't sabotage my long term goal! So what do I crave - grilled fish, but problem being is that I haven't grilled the fish myself (use scanpan at home so no oils added). What do I have packed - chicken breast - have had this for the last 3 days and today feel very tired of it. I don't think that one serving of grilled fish will hurt my long term goal. So I am giving into the craving, justified it with myself and shall totally enjoy it!


Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Renewed Vigour!

Amazing what a good night sleep and a little venting/reflection does to ones soul! I have woken up this morning happy, healthy, ready to do exercise. I also had a bit of a detox session yesterday without planning it. The raw veges I have been adding to my salad, along with all my supps, certainly hit the mark yesterday afternoon. Whoosh! I think you get the picture! hehehehe ..............tummy feels flatter even though it doesn't look like it.
I am getting hungrier of late, especially when eating times are due, like right now, even after eating my breakfast an hour later than normal. So I am going to hang out for another 1/2 hour, so as to even the timing out a bit. Food was fantastic yesterday, looking forward to another great day today. Mind you in saying that, food was fantastic according to me, may be scrutinised by others as somethings are wrong! by all means please do not hesitate to comment.

Did a 30min hill climb on the spinning bike this morning before an hour of weights - chest and tris. Actually went light in my weights due to the chest injury I have, but changed the counts down and back (slow down 4 slow up 4) with no hold at end of rep. This was a good burn, more burn than the normal feel of a heavy weight. Always good to mix the weight session up a bit.

Doing a bit of study on CLA and am liking what I read. CLA has been the subject of a variety of research in the past several years, and findings also suggest that some of the benefits of CLA include the following:

Increases metabolic rate
Decreases abdominal fat
Enhances muscle growth
Lowers cholesterol and triglycerides
Lowers insulin resistance
Reduces food-induced allergic reactions
Enhances immune system

As fish oil repeats on me so badly, I found that CLA does not.

On a reflection note:
Mistakes can happen. If you have made a mistake learn from it and try something different. Keep your goals in mind and adopt a flexible approach. It takes lots of efforts and hours to achieve an extraordinary result. Try more things and eventually you will get it right. It may look risky but that is one way to know whether something will work. Your fears will dissipate when you take action. Do the thing even when you are afraid and unsure of its consequence. (this line is for you Liz, reply to your comment on email) Your emotion will match your actions. Have faith in yourself and your dreams. Take more risks, act with courage and look forward with hope.
It takes one action and one step at a time to produce your desired result.
With each result, your learning, experience and confidence will grow. You will develop the strengths to overcome any challenge.

Well thats it for me at the moment, catchya lata!


Monday, 29 September 2008

Spelling ! What the!

I must apologise everyone, I just read my post and there are some very bad spelling mistakes! Whoops!

Self Help - The Antidote!

The dictionary defines self-help as the act of helping yourself without relying on anyone else and improving yourself economically, intellectually and/or emotionally.

While I forgone the evening show for the ANB because my parents were stopping over, only to get home and discover that they had been and gone. Apparently my sister is in dire straits once again doesn't seem to be able to get out of her rut. I have since discovered that my darling sister is on the brink of being instutionalised yet again for paranoa, had to get a helping hand with a lot of money (sum undisclosed from parents) and going through her second divorce with a whole lot of dramas. Then to top what started as a great weekend into the most crappiest, my husband and i had a huge fight! There were a lot words said!!!

So I discovered that I eat crap when I have a whole lot of shit dumped on me. I had a serve of hot chips for lunch. But only that! So I guess that is not so bad. I have to help myself, I can not rely on others to help me, expecially ones close to me.

Success is assured if you work hard and continue with it, because you are in control - of your own thoughts, your own decisions and your own actions! Other people may interrupt but you have the choice on your next steps or actions.

So deciding on what is really important to you is a step towards self help. When you know what is important, you are able to manage your time, gain self control and organise yourself around your priorities. Having goals, purpose and dreams will focus your attention and change the condition of your life. You are the only one who can determine what you want to accomplish and experience.

I you find that life and people are treating yo unfairly, don't complain. Remember it is your focus of attention that is causing your state of unhappiness. Avoid putting the blame on them. Involve yourself in activities that motivate you and set out your future path. Give yourself the chance to believe that you are more capable than what you have accomplished this far.


Sunday, 28 September 2008

Comments that inadvertly can hurt?

I was thinking about the conversations yesterday from our table at the ANB, and there were a lot of comments about some of the competitors that sort of struck me as very hurtful - like 'tuckshop lady arms' and too soft and flabby! You know what, I think they are all heroes for getting up there in the first place. I know I think too much, but then I got to thinking, is that going to be the comments if and when I get up on stage. Due to size I am, I know I will have excess skin issues for a long while till they eventually disappear (if they do) - am I going to warrant comments like that too! Not to mention stretch marks! How am I going to hide those imperfections??? Certainly a de-motivator at the best of times.

People should never cast comments like that, nor any comments at all, because they don't know what is going on in the lives of the others. Remember it is their journey, not yours. What often distinguishes hurt from other emotions is the sense of vunerability, and that is what I am feeling right now. Why do I want to set myself up for comments like these when I jump on stage!!! You know, you work so hard at times in your journey, and then you get a knock for six with a totally unrelated issue such as this. Logically, I know that this should not affect me and I do have the support of friends, but when it is people you know who say these comments, you start to wonder what is actually said when you are not around??? hmmm! Human nature is repetitive, and inadvertedly we always do the same thing over and over, even without realising it. And I know that my friends will say they never say that about me, hey I am no perfect person either and have been known to say somethings, but I do think about it later and think to myself, well you know what, that is stupid and try not to go down that path again.

On another note, I would like to congradulate one competitor in particular yesterday and that was the poor sports model entrant. Now she had no competition, but still went out there and did her stuff. She was not as young as the usual entrants you see at most comps, but she did her thing and that she should be so proud of. Well done.

Emotions are crappy things, especially when they get so mixed up ATM, but one foot in front of the other is always a good thing. I am alive, I am healthy albeit overweight, and I enjoy life, good food, good wine and good company! And I am strong!

Long Live Fitness


Saturday, 27 September 2008

ANB Qld Titles

Well just got back from the pre-judging at the ANB, sadly could not stay for the night show, so I don't know the placings until I get a text.

First two pictures is Novice Masters Physique. Young Traci is the first to compete from my gym. She has an amazing amount of muscle. Will let you all know soon enuf how she placed when I get a text.

Second was Tara and unfortunately Harmony. I did not know they would be in same category and I felt guilty having to cheer both of them on, so I didn't yell out much. Bit hard when my table was yelling for Harmony and I wanted to yell for Tara. But both look amazing. I am so proud of Tara.

So I also met Liz in person, what a nice lady. Methinks I need to get to know her a whole lot more. Also met the lovely Deb who was at her sponsors stand. Of course lovely Lindy was there, didn't get to talk to her too much as she was always surrounded by people as per usual. Steph and Ali was there as well. Met the lovely Maryanne who might I add is looking very muscled up! As per normal I always get so fired up after a show. Can't wait for the results.
Talk to you soon.

Friday, 26 September 2008

Inspiration ladies who totally inspire me!

And the last one is Tara's legs. I think that she has done an amazing transformation. I look at her then her before photos and KNOW that I will get there one day.

Goodluck Tara! Goodluck Traci! Goodluck Harmony!

ANB comp is on tomorrow and I am going to come home with no voice. There are a few people I know competing, including one novice physique, who has so much natural muscle.

Now I am a known lurker to body building comps and really enjoy them. I want to compete in one myself oneday, hence the BEHAG journey. But on the days of the comp, I always feels so inadequate as there are so many fit bodies there and I look at mine and think, you should have put the hard yard in sooner you doh head! It is times like these when reflecting on your past journeys, that I feel like such a failure. I know I shouldn't and I know I am not, because I know how much hard work I put into it, it is just a visual aspect of it all. Take today for an example, I hummed and harred about actually going to the gym, then got there and stood around talking for a while, I guess sort of putting off actually doing something. Then I actually got into it, and pushed and pushed myself very hard, came out of it later, very very happy and I think very sore tomorrow. I did these deep squats on the standing calf/squat machine and normally I only go 20kg each side. Today I put on thirty each side and did 8 squats right down to the bottom, touched and the pushed up again...........what I did concentrate on was the pushup, making sure that the abs were completely switched on and that the push came from the butt. It felt good. I also felt the abs working very hard. and finished off the session after several other leg exercises with 15 stair runs. That felt good too. Was hard but felt good. I also was humming and harring about the powerwalk this afternoon, but got in and done it and now I feel very sore but feel fantastic at the same time. Albeit all these good exercises today means nothing if I don't eat right and I just didn't feel like eating today, nor take my sups today. So eats today have been quite limited and it is very naughty of me to do that. I had oats with teaspoon peanut butter and protein powder this morning then 1 carrot around 10.30am, about 1 &1/2 cups tossed salad with 80gms chicken for lunch and that is it so far. Not much hey, especially in light of the amount of veges I have been eating.

Well tme to go and put all the meat away, bake some chicken breasts, chop some veges and pack for ANB tomorrow. Will let you know how it all goes.


Thursday, 25 September 2008


Well now, I don't know what it is, but of late (well to tell the truth, I have noticed this a long time but put it done to processed foods) I have noticed that my girth grows about 5cms by mid afternoon and I often feel bloated. Not windy and not crampy, just hyperextended???? I think I need to investigate a bit more now. I have been eating so cleanly for a while now, with very little processed foods, lots of cruciferous vegetables and fresh meat. Even the boys get fresh meat for sandwiches, I roast something every weekend instead of buying processed ham.

Food has been clean so far this week, EXCEPT! I had 2 marshmellows and 2 sour jellies after a stressful hour with the auditors. I really wish some of these young people would get some experience in business before they become auditors. One should understand that not all businesses can run completely to text book. Each individual entity has it's own way of doing management accounts, especially for managers and directors!!! Humph!

I have done some weights this week, back, bis and shoulders and my chest injury is niggling me, so I think I will give chest and tris a miss this week, just to give it an extra week to recover. We did some pushups in boxing and I think I have aggrevated it some more again. So all I have left to do is lovely legs - leaving that for last - Friday!

Cardio and Balance tonight is totally on order and tonite I will not be swayed from my directions. Legs and stairs tomorrow and a huge powerwalk on Saturday before I head off for the whole day at the ANB comp. I am getting a bit excited about that!

Well I guess I best be doing some work now.